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10 things NOT to say to a cop who pulls you over:
1. I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer
2. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
3. Aren't you the guy from the village people?
4. You must've been doin about 125 mph to keep up with me! good job!
5. Excuse me, is stick 'em up hyphenated?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer
7. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
8. You're not gonna check the trunk are you?
9. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
10. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell out of my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control...

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